carasoul: love, sex and relationships

A place to share your stories and ask for advice. Run by a guy and a girl.

spooky-scary-suchipi said: Ever since all my friends moved away for college, I've had a craving for in-person social interaction I can't satiate. As a result, I've become too clingy to some of my closer friends and even gotten into awkward situations where I developed crushes on them. How can I maintain friendships when those friends aren't obligated to come to school every day and see me?

I think most people have their own difficulties adjusting to life after high-school. Social life as an adult is quite different; you probably won’t see all the people you want to see as often as you did as a teenager. It can be depressing as a result.

From the ups and downs that I’ve experienced with this (I’m 23 and have had 6-7 years to adjust) I think the best thing for you to do is figure out what your friends are looking for in your friendship. How much time in their lives are they willing to give you? If you feel you need to demand more than they are willing to give, then it might be a good idea to distance yourself from that relationship. Tough but true.

Openness and honesty are key to any good friendship so just be clear with them what you’re looking for in your relationship. If this weirds them out then they weren’t the best of friends to begin with and if they really are good friends then they should try and¬†accommodate¬†your needs. Don’t think of it as being selfish - there is a give and take in any relationship.

As far as developing a crush on friends, at this stage, I think it’s most likely a result of the sudden loneliness that is thrust upon you after graduating. Try talking with them first, take your time and think it through before acting on any feelings that may or may not be genuine.

Anonymous said: I love sex. I think it's the greatest thing. I love thinking about it, love masturbating. It's such a fun thing, and I love it to death. But due to past incidents, I can't help but feel shame, or deep resentment after I orgasm. Or even in the middle, I feel disgusted with myself and I just want to cry. I've been sexually abused beforehand, and I just don't know how to get rid of this horrible feeling. I love sex! Can you think of any ways?

Hey! Thanks for coming to ask for advice, I’m the girl who runs this blog and my name is Astrid. I am terribly sorry you were sexually abused. It’s great that you have gotten over your shame to the point where you can conclude you can love sex. Know that your negative sexual encounter was not your fault and that you do not deserve in anyway to feel guilty about the experience. From what it appears you suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and you should seek professional help if you are not already. Good luck in your quest to sexual health and comfort~

Hi everyone! The theme looks awkward without any posts, but it will be normal once the page fills up.

Feel free to send us a message telling us about your life or any kind of situation you are in. You can message anonymously if you like but I’d also like this to be a place where people can connect with others with similar situations; or, I’d like for that to at least be an option.

Also, thank you to all new followers. :)